i think i'm a zombie... or at least i feel like one? today i almost fell asleep during emaths... as in my head almost banged against the table...omg....i'm unbelieveable:D
i really really wish i can go on the 6th...hopefully can go support cheryl on the first also.. today during full lit mrs thomsett said something about finding ourselves.we take lit so we can understand how people behave better and find out more about ourselves. i really started thinking when she said"find ourselves". have i found myself?am i like mildred?putting up an act of happiness when deep inside i'm just the opposite?i really don't know..
i think i lost myself...i get mood swings or something, i just feel bad inside... there's this numbness in me.. i don't feel pain..it just...feels bad inside..cheryl posted in her blog that she was stupid. if she was stupid, what am i?purely retarded. part of me really wants to get into things and start doing things... my brain seems to be saying so,but my legs don't follow. they stand there and glued themselves to the ground.all my i could do is use my eyes and look around. it's time to move on already. but i can't even take the first step. how do you do that?how do you take the first step?
seriously, i don't see why everyone just wants me to stay at home. they want me to be independant,yet they want me to stay at home.can't anyone make up their mind nowadays?maybe i just don't feel like taking the first step.maybe it is easy to take the first step but i just don't want to take it. i feel like a person from the society in the book fahrenheit 451. unfeeling. no. i feel more like as if i don't have a soul.I'M DEAD!
everyone wants to decide for me.i can't make a decision by myself.why?no one allows me to. like my mum. if she ask me,"do you want to eat apple or mango?"
if i say "mango", she will say,"aya..mango heaty..eat apple la"
does it sound like i'm the one making the decision?i want to learn guitar,my sis asked me to learn piano cause it's easier and she keeps saying i got no sense of rythm or whatever..come on la..you teach me to play a song, you don't play for me to hear first, i have no idea what song you're talking about.you just teach me the key and asked me to strum 8 times. that was the first time i touched the guitar. do i look like a genius?!
i wanted to learn korean, my mum asked me to learn french. why?it sounds better.korean sounds very unlady-like.we speak singlish. it's not very glam either. even if i learn french i have to wait till middle of the year or end of the year.
for the first time in my life i'm asking my mum if i can learn something.she actually said no.locking me at home won't make me study so what's the use?!i'm very tired..i'm really very very tired...the whole family is standing together against me. i definitely can't do anything. i have to get the permission from everyone. if my mum allows my sis might disagree.the only thing they agreed upon is my academic results. i'm sick of it. i'm really really very sick of it.

List of wants=D

Click five concert tickets! :D

PSP PS3 the return of the cuckoo vcd Anastasia vcd Parent Trap vcd Adidas Watch Braces More Books=D guitar lessons a trip to Taiwan TIME

Clarissa Loo
turning 16
080592
frozen_freezer@hotmail.com
netball!!!
lives in a zoo
yellow,green,white
thinks that:wearing underwear outside like superman,is the new trend
can't live without my _______=D
is having an open war against:fats
I hate that PERSON!!